I lack understanding not of love but why it affects me so. To elaborate, it has become a cancer in the bottom of my soul that fades in and out within my psyche, making me fear the possibility and maybe even probability of this feeling overtaking me...
Am I afraid to love?
Yes.
Do I want to love?
Yes.
Will I ever love?
I can't say...
This feeling conceives to send shivers thru my body, faltering in my soul, and weak to the point of physically vomiting the nothingness out of me. Old habits die hard, no matter how much we, I, try to let details of the past go, the louder they resonate within the confounds of this body of mine...
Is the cure love?
Probably yes.
Am I willing to take that chance?
With the likelihood that someone special could get hurt, no...
You blog hit me deeply,because i am,well have been where you are.
ReplyDeleteAfraid to love,afraid to feel anything for someone,due to the fear of getting hurt or hurting them.
I am 17 and have probably been through more things than any adult could ever handle.
I built up a wall,afraid,just so afraid to let anyone in.
Pass relationships/experiences leave a bruised and beaten heart, it leave such a pain that just might stay there forever.
I have the fear of fallin inlove, or loving someone, because of two people.
This fear has overtaken my life in a way.
Im afraid to let that wall down just one bit,in fear that i will get hurt again.
Im afraid to let that wall down just one bit, in fear that someone might actually want to love me back.
Im afraid to let that wall down in fear, of loving someone.
Many people just throw the word "love" around like its nothing,hey have the mindset that it cant hurt.
But in reality its probably one of the words that hurts the most.
It can heal or hurt a heart.
Love is just a four letter word.
It means nothing unless two people can understand and feel it.
It means nothing if it lives in your mind instead of your heart.
Love, is not something wrong to feel.
Actually, love feels good.
You just have to know how too use and feel.
To understand it, you have to feel it.
To feel it you have know it.
I personally dont know what happened in your past, but its clearly scarred you.
I do know whats happened in mind and quite frankly its scarred me too.
I think one day, we will understand,feel,and give love,but until then all we can do is try and open our eyes.
~sexychica2011*youtube
~My names Victoria.or V
*Love makes the world go round.If the world stops spinning, then you know love is no more.