Changes

So within the next couple of weeks, imma be putting myself through some changes. Some of them I don't mind, some of them I do. 

Finish cutting my hair and coloring it. Planning on working towards getting some piercings and tattoos alongside some new clothes as well. 

I really want to be the guy that you show off to your friends. I want to be the guy you want to talk to, to ask how his day is just as an excuse to talk. I want to be the guy who you want to cuddle with. I want to be the guy that you are attracted to. I want to be the guy you fell in love with. 

I'm doing these things, some of them I am deathly scared of, simply because I don't want you to get bored of me. I don't want to lose you. And even though you could do so much better, I wanna be the guy that will continue to surprise you. 

I have never been more self conscious than I am right now but i hope I don't lose you. 

Please don't get bored of me. 

You know what's torture?

Never hearing from you. You never starting a conversation. The torture of when you will be tired of me. The creeping thought of when it will all end. 

Her

I miss our days. Not just any days but days where I thought of you and you thought of me too. Our days. 

I was wrong to make you wait but I did. If I could take it back, I would. But things worked out and we came to be. 

I remember bragging on you to all of my friends and family members. I remember getting the jokes and comments but still proudly calling you mine. I cherished it. I cherished you. 

Then time passed and life happened. 

Slowly school and work crept into our lives. And slowly, it became your life and mine. 

Then, the insecurities came in. 

The paranoia of wondering if there is someone better for you out there, if your attention was no longer for me. Days, even a week or two, no call or text. 

Nothing. 

What is left?

Fear of being too attached? Fear of being a hassle? Fear of being bothersome? Or fear of being less of a man than you deserve because my emotions hold me powerless daily?

Gone are the days of innocence, the joy of being young and in love for you we're the first I truly trusted with my heart, and God willing, the last. 

But may I ask?

Do you still feel the way that I do?

Did you ever?

MIA

So I haven't posted a video up until now this year. Sorry. Yeah I have been a busy guy. Not really. I've just been working, dancing, and in the process of starting a business. But its all good.

Some stuff that has happened to me is that I've dropped out of school this semester to start a business, my dad got shot at (he's ok thank God), my lil bro went to the E.R. (he's ok too, thanks again), still with the girlfriend, and just overall working on new pieces for my personal dance group and the non-profit (Truth in Motion) I work with.

A lil bit but overall pretty plain this year :P
Well below is the vid I uploaded. Regular upload schedule is coming back :)
@OfficialKon @OfficialKonTV #KonTV

The Adventures of Kon and Nathan

The above video has some nostalgia for me personally because it was back in '07 with my friend Nathan chillin and just talking bout goals and things. If you listen, I spoke about going up to New York (back when my ambitions were a bit selfish) but nevertheless a bit nostalgic. I do hope you enjoy this video and getting to see me back before I legit started to make videos :)

-Kon

As a Choreographer...

its an awesome moment when you hear a song, and instantly your heart rate increases and the amount of hype in your imagination is suddenly lifted. For me, I love hearing music that I can use to get people hyped about the Word.

If you're a fan of Hip-Hop but aren't familiar with @Lecrae, he's someone you should definitely check out alongside his newly released Gravity album.

Download on iTunes now: Gravity by Lecrae

Author?

So it is 2:30am and I have this urge to write. Essentially to write out this love story I have in my head. But, I need to let my MacBook cool off and I need to take my lil bro to school in the morning.

I will say it deals with fatherhood in such an unusual way but I hope it's a lil different in a good way. Def will keep you updated :)

New Video Schedule (Incomplete)

So while I'm uploading this new video at the moment, I want to inform that I now have a new upload schedule.

Every Thursday will be a new video (ranging from talking about a topic, rants, random, reactions, etc).

New vlogs are TBD

and I am planning to make Flashback Joints every 3 weeks? (definitely not set in stone but I wanted to inform that I do plan on making new videos on a more consistent basis :)

Change

It never fails to amaze me the cowardice that the internet encourages through the ability to be anonymous. So I did a collab regarding AMBW videos for a friend's channel and a troll (as they have come to be known) appear in the comments. I am for free speech however, the fact that the video was meant to be informative and encouraging while this person views were derogatory was just another reminder.

Change doesn't come without a few feathers being ruffled. People want better, someone is upset. People want different, someone is upset.

All I can personally say is God Bless these weak-minded individuals. God Bless them indeed...

(btw, I just found some random gif to go with it :P)

Pet Peeves with the GF

just a fun lil video to make. Enjoy :)

@OfficialKonTV @OfficialKon

Fear

I don't know if its a personal fear of never reaching beyond my comfort zone to possibly be successful or the fear of failing completely but I believe its all a choice...

Identity Beyond Ethnicity: Asian.

It occurs to me that I've never really identified myself as asian out of all honesty. Now this is not a bash on this continent of Asia nor the cultures that it is comprised of but I've always seemed to never see myself as asian.

Now I can chalk this up into personal experience. Examples, such as:

-being seen differently by my own "brothers and sisters"
-being treated differently
-not being taught the language of my heritage (Thai)
-nor being raised in traditional customs and/or cultural environments

I can chalk this up also from feeling like the person on the outside looking in as well.

Is this the reasoning behind the way I view people? Debatable indeed.

I can remember seeing a group of asian people and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, whereas if I were to see a different, mixed, or diverse group of people, I would feel more akin to join.

As I am typing this, I honestly do not know the intent behind this nor do I know whether anyone can relate to such a post but I feel that all angles of thought in regards should be explored no matter how irrelevant it may seem.

I do wish that even though we are people, we are weak and vulnerable people at best. Acceptance doesn't seem to fit within this context to end such an obscure post but yes, we seek some measure if not from others but rather ourselves...

New Video Addiction (5/7/12): Church Clothes by Lecrae

Dance Studio Session Throwback Video

Check it out now on my second channel.

The Twitters:
@OfficialKon @JazzyShow

KonTV Facebook Page

So you've may have seen the title KonTV at the bottom of several videos and Kon, being the name I predominately use online, KonTV on facebook will serve as an update page for future videos, previews, concepts, collabs, etc. on both my primary page and my secondary page.

Go like the new KonTV Page :)